i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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