I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
