So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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