That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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