You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
