Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
