I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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