I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
