a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
