I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
