gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize
