dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
