I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
