So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize