He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
