The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
