erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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