So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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