Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize