If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
