It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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