I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
