so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
