I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
