My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
