You can't special order awesome
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
