A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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