Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize