SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
