dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
