i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I need water and some morals
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
