im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
