I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
