we're blogging at a bar
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
