The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
