You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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