so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
