They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
