If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
