**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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