I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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