Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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