My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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