Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
