The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
