I look better un-naked...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
