my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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