Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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