So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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