i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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