He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
