Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
