i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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