Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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