We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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