Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
