i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
