i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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