On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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