How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
