I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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