yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
