There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Green mimosas i think yes
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
