Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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