i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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